My Gendered Self

My picture says a lot about who I am as a person. My pink shirt and the fact that my hair is long, blonde, and curly, are all suggestions of femininity, but the trucker hat I'm wearing challenges the feminine stereotypes with its masculine suggestion. When people first meet me, they often type-cast me as the stereotypical blonde girl, and, on some levels, I am. I paint my nails pink, I enjoy shopping with my friends, I'm in a sorority, and I like wearing dresses and reading fashion magazines; I'm proud of all these things. I love being young and female. Too often, however, people dismiss me after initially judging me without taking the time to see that there is more to me as a person than meets the eye. I also play lacrosse, can eat/drink just about anyone under the table, drive a stick shift car, and throw a mean punch. (Oh, and yes, my shit does stink.) Society has drawn such clear lines about what characterizes male and female and the pressure to adhere to these confines is enormous and sometimes unbearable. It is silly to admit but I often feel more accomplished when I do something that breaks the female stereotype, such as scoring the winning basket in a basketball game with the boys in my neighborhood, than when I accomplish something undoubtedly worth applause, like getting a great grade in a class. I don't understand why society tells us that we are only allowed to be black or white when there are so many shades of grey to explore. Why must I be girly or boyish? Why can't I just be Meghan?